Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I'm Selfish

I don't want this to be the last time I waddle around like this. I know it's crazy, I'm eight and a half months I should be swearing that I'll never do this again. I unpacked baby clothes and can't imagine parting with them after the birth of this baby. To give away the baby gear and not store it for the next little blessing. The logical side and emotional side of my brain is feuding over this. Lots of women I know say you just know when your done , what if you don't "know." Maybe it's just the hormones. I can kind of understand the hubby decision, I'm not the one to have to live with 30 to 40 plus food sensitivities and have my body hyper react to every little thing that it comes in contact with. But right know I'm just thinking about myself, this being the last baby to nurse and cuddle and hold. Well I better enjoy the belly and rub it lots in the next few weeks. (The hubby better enjoy the strange foreign objects a little higher than the belly because those too will vanish and sag.) So as my legs throb and swell and I ache and as somebody plays soccer with my internal organs I pray I enjoy every minute of this amazing miracle as so many woman would love to be in my shoes.


Tracy said...

You know I've talked to several women and I've asked how to do you really KNOW when your done. I think for some women maybe the feeling never goes away. I could see myself having another baby I don't feel done either. But unless hubby changes his mind we are and I'm ok with that to. I've been blessed with three great boys that some women would love to have one and can't so I just try to focus on that. I just got rid of all my baby clothes and that made it a little more real for me although I wasn't to emotional about it. I don't think your selfish for wanting another one that's how God made us to want babies. However, your hubby has a good point to. I so totally enjoyed Roman I figured if he was my last I was going to hold him all the time and I did. So if this is truly your last just enjoy every moment of it!:)

Sharon said...

I don't think that is selfish at all! I have no idea how you ever know when you are really done. Wouldn't it be nice if you could pray about it and the answer would just pop into your head? Like Tracy said, if this is really your last one, rub that belly, takes lots of pictures--even if you don't want to see them--, and just enjoy it.