I'm having a moment.
I love and adore my babies probably more than I should. I want to shield and protect them from all hurt and keep them innocent and pure and healthy. I want them to have a "normal" childhood and a normal life so that they don't end up lying on some shrinks sofa rehashing traumatic moments of their childhood and telling him that their mother is a nut job. But the cold hard facts are that they are not quote on quote "normal". They are allergic to multiple foods and multiple substances that fly freely through the air we all breathe. Then if we throw the religious differences in there they are like aliens from a different planet. I might as well tattoo weirdo on their forehead.
Well as I wash hats, mittens, coat and any other article of clothing that might have hay on it from the party that we were just at were they couldn't eat ANY of the foods safely. (Don't worry we come food in tow.) The beverage was safe but when accidentally drank from the wrong cup of someone who ingested a peanut butter cookie causes a marble sized fluid filled bump on ones lip makes this momma weary some days. I wonder what it would be like to pack the kids in the car and hit a drive thru and show up to a function with a premade, processed type food out of a bag or some just add water mix some days sound so easy. A vacation without air purifiers and allergy free pillows. Not stressing over how they must feel or what is doing to them emotionally because they are so different. Dropping the kids off with out a grocery size bag of food and detailed instructions at grandma and grandpa's house just sounds, whats the word I'm looking for, um easy yes easy. Food and air it's just everywhere. I know raising kids with out allergies is no walk in the park don't get me wrong. But some days on the outside looking in it looks that way.
Well the pity party must end now. I am soooooooooooo thankful for these kids and the wealth of knowledge that I have learned from their "differences". I just had a moment. All is well again, and the dryer has beeped.
5 comments:
Thanks for the invite. You are such a good mom, Esther. You always look like you have your act together. What you deal with on a daily basis would make any mom cry! You at least have a reason for a pity party.
As for having aliens from a different plant, I am right there with you!
You sure do deserve a pity party. I've only had Shad for one night and it was only a small sample of what you go through with all of them. I enjoyed very much having him by the way.:) You are a great mother to those four babies don't ever doubt that!! I agree with Sarah you always have your act together and even if you don't we would never know. Your always prepared even before you had kids you were the one of us that always came prepared. Those kiddo's are so blessed to have such a wonderful mommy like you!
I can not even begin to imagine what it would be like to have to deal with all that day in and day out. I only had Lula one night and although she came with a bag full of food, I still forgot to give her one of her protein shakes. If I can't even remember for one child I don't know how I would be able to remember for 4 of them! Like Sarah and Tracy said, you definitely deserve a pity party! But you are also so blessed in that you have 4 amazing children who have the funniest senses of humour, are amazingly beautiful, and are also so lucky they have such an amazing mom!
Hi Esther,
I was wondering if you were feeling better. I hope so, I've been praying for you :)
Wow, I came to check out your blog and looks like you had a bad day too! I can't imagine how hard it is with children that small. I home schooled too for 8 years. My youngest, the daughter is a senior in high school this year. She is going to community college for dual credit so I am finished with home schooling. I know it must be a blessing to be able to have yours at home with all their allergies. I can't imagine having sent mine off to school had she had the gluten problem when she was young. Hang in there!
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